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(1 edit) (+3)

the narrative style here is interesting — it feels very terse, mostly a brief sentence at a time, but it also seems to work for what this story is doing.  the narrative crams a lot of worldbuilding and development into a relatively short time, but if it were significantly longer, it could easily get lost in the weeds and detract from the real theme?  i think you've hit a surprising sweet spot here

i admit i did some yelling at the screen every time eric's programming career allowed him to hack advanced alien technology or somesuch, but that's the kind of yelling i enjoy doing, so that works out honestly

but i enjoyed this!  a brief jaunt through an unfamiliar universe, and high stakes that never take themselves too seriously.

PS: there seems to be a running theme wherein the background accidentally makes eric look three feet tall.  i assume you're using stock photos here and have to kinda take what you can get, and also it's really funny, so please do not fix it

(+1)

Thanks for the feedback!  I do enjoy writing enough backstory to explain the weirdness of the scenario, but not so much that it overwhelms the characters (I did this a lot in my last dating sim, Kalzrak, to explain why a robot is walking around a Skyrim-esque world).   It's fun.  Especially when you're coming up with BS at the last minute.  

And I'll fully admit: Eric's magic hacking skills were because I'd written myself into a corner.  I knew that Dash and Hubert could deal with the alien planet and its weirdness, but Eric was at the mercy of everything.  And since I'd already decided the endings would be the player + their choice making a final stand, I was like "Eric has to be able to do something, or else his route is a bad end."  Which, in hindsight, could've been interesting.  But oh well, every day is a learning experience for the next game!

I also actually was going to adjust everyone's sizes to match the backgrounds a bit better (especially Eric in the mess hall), but kept putting it off and submitted it and then remembered oh hell I was supposed to do that.  xD  

Again, thanks for the valuable feedback!